The Ultimate Roy Subordinate Costume Party!
by xfma-addictx
Summary: When Roy comes up with a crazy idea, all of his subordianes are dragged into it. What will become of them? And what WILL they wear? And what's with Roy's coffee? A FMA crackfic. COMPLEATE!
1. Part 1

**A/N: OK, sorry Julia, but I had to separate it into parts. It was wayyyyy to long to keep as one part. SORRY JULIA!!!! TTTT**

**Ok, well this is my first crackfic, and I will post more on the second part. Please bear with me… I'm soo sorry! Like, really sorry. Really really sorry. **

**I'll write a longer A/N in the second part, so just wait till then! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! R&R! PLEASE? This is my first fic here and I want to know the good AND the bad. Please have some critique... or at least your favorite part.**

**THANKIES! xfmaaddictx**

The Ultimate Roy Subordinate Costume Party Part 1- By xfmaaddictx

"Oooooh!" Roy was looking at his calendar behind his paper-cluttered desk, due to his well-known hobby of procrastination.

"Um… what is it, Sir?" Fuery, who was sitting in his office, asked.

"It's almost Halloween!" Roy spun around in his spinny-chair-thingy, with his arms up in the air. He seemed to be… celebrating?

"Sir, what the hell are you doing?" Riza Hawkeye, and rightly Roy's babysitter, asked the Flame alchemist.

"I really don't know, but who cares?" Roy proclaimed with a smile. "Wheeee! Muhahahaha!"

"Are you sure you're ok?" Fuery got concerned. Had someone put drugs in his coffee? He was getting almost as exited as Hughes over his daughter.

"Never felt better!" Roy stood up out of his chair. "Because all of you are going to participate in the Ultimate Roy Subordinate Costume Party! I can't wait to see the look on Ed when I get him to do this…" His face was overtaken by an evil and dirty look.

The whole room stared at him. What was wrong with Roy?

"So, what are we gonna do? I mean, are we just gonna come to work on Halloween in a costume?" Jean Havoc looked at Roy, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Everyone awaited his response.

"But I have a better idea. Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Roy demanded.

"Yes, sir?" She snapped straight.

"Could you find where the Elric brothers are currently?"

"Well, they called yesterday. They finished their latest mission recently and are staying at the local military hotel. I believe they are researching here, in the Eastern Library." She replied quickly without error, as though she had practiced it many times before.

"That's great news, Riza. Heh heh heh…" Roy cackled. "Please bring me a phone. And Falman-"

"Yes, Sir!" Falman put down his book, which looked thousands of pages long, down while he stood straight.

"Please, find the number for their hotel. I just can't wait till they come…" Roy gave a small, cunning smile.

_A day later_

Edward Elric stomped through Roy Mustang's office doors. He growled, thinking that the Colonel only ordered him here to give him another _ass_ignment. Just when he thought he had a break, the colonel thought of something else that he didn't feel like doing, candy –coating it with phrases like 'I don't have the time', 'I'm tied to my desk', or 'It's too far'.

"Oh! Hello, Edward!" Breda looked up. Only him and Fuery seemed to notice Edward's entrance into the room.

Havoc was smoking in a chair, leisurely, enjoying his small time off. Falman and Riza seemed to be out of the office, maybe running errands or eating lunch in the cafeteria. And right-smack in the center of the office was Roy's desk. Although, to Ed, it looked more like a fortress, towering over Roy. And officer walking past in the hallway could never tell if Roy was working or not. Actually, Edward Elric was going to personally check what Roy was doing. AL entered a couple of seconds after Ed, wondering what he was doing, walking towards Roy's desk. When Ed gave him a devilish grin, he knew it wasn't gonna be good.

"Big Brother!" Al exclaimed as Ed poked the tallest tower of paper. It tumbled down, right on a dozing Roy. Fortunately, to Al's relief, they only heard a muffled moan, and the disorganized pile of paper shuffled for a few seconds, but suddenly stopped. Roy had gone back to sleep.

"Aww…" Ed stared at the papers with disappointment. He really wanted the Colonel to get 'weighed down' by his paperwork, or at least get a lot of painful paper cuts.

"Well, what a surprise. Hello, Edward" Havoc stood up and walked across the room. He threw the cigarette butt he had in his hand towards the ashtray, which, of course, was covered in paper. Riza Hawkeye came just in time to see Roy's desk start to smoke. Suddenly, the paperwork burst into flames, with the Flame Alchemist under it. Edward couldn't help but laugh. Alphonose, Breda, and Fuery ran around in circles, trying to get water and to get the Colonel to wake up. Havoc only saw it as a great opportunity to light another cigarette. Riza Hawkeye, watching this, put her paperwork down and calmly called the fire department.

_A couple of hours and firemen later (Roy being one of them)_

"Ok! Roy had newfound confidence in himself after drinking some fresh, hot coffee, even though he had minor burns all over his body. He had no time to be held back by something so small! **A/N OMG I JUST MADE A EDWARD ELRIC PUN! … ok… back to the story… sorry…** "Your all here, right?"

"I should of put gas on his paperwork…" Ed whispered to Al and sighed. Roy had woken up before he could find the materials to transmute gasoline. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw a person, no taller than him, pour something into Roy's coffee. He couldn't see what the person was putting in, but it was a white powder. Sugar? It looked like it. It looked like a girl, or a guy with a ponytail, but the black trench coat hid any gender-defining features. The person saw him, hid the packet of 'sugar', and jumped out the window. He heard the crunching of leaves and bushes. He just brushed d the sight off, thinking that it was hi imagination. And it would've been great if someone poisoned Roy. At least he would get some time off to go to his funeral.

"Well, in celebration of Ha-" Roy started to say.

"I MADE THE MATRIX NOT A TRILOGY ANYMORE! FREE COOKIES!" there was a yell coming from the window. Roy, Riza, Ed, Al, Falman, Havoc, Fuery, and Breda crowded around the window. They say a person running fast, away from the window, the same person Ed saw before. Riza Hawkeye loaded and shot her gun at the person. But the person dodged the bullet by hitting the side of their head on an open door, long ways. They realized it was a girl with the small glimpse of her face. She got back up, rubbing her head. She continued running and eventually behind a building out of sight.

"… What was that?" Al broke the silence. Everyone shrugged, so they resumed to listening to Roy.

"Ahem… ok. So, in celebration of Halloween, I am holding an Ultimate Roy Subordinate Costume Party!"

"Wha…?" Everyone was dumbfounded.

**Hah, so you like it? I got the other parts coming soon, so stay tuned! (I sound like a cheesy creepy tv dude...), and please, REVIEW!**


	2. Part 2

**A/N: YO! Got the second part, and I can't wait to finish it! (I am hoping to have 3 parts, no more than 4). It is a Halloween fanfic, after all. So, first of all, PLEASE REVIW! I really need them. Review on the first chapter, the second chapter, or both, as you please! Just review! I am letting anonymous reviewers review, but if I find them as something not useful, I will block them. Anyone from ZOMGFTA, please review on the subject, not here. It's easier to read on ZOMGFTA and I love all you guys. XD**

**I wanna thank Quandtuniverse right now (on ZOMGFTA and FANFICTION), because she, is AWSOME! She gave quite a bit of ideas, but she didn't really co-author this, so I can't really give her that title. She IS gonna torture me with a spork, but she's a good friend anyway. I question myself many times why she is still my friend. And she was Riza Hawkeye for Halloween. How cool is that?**

**Ok, to the story. Thankies!**

The Ultimeate Roy Subordinate Costume Party- Part 2 by xfmaaddictx

"_Ahem… ok. So, in celebration of Halloween, I am holding an Ultimate Roy Subordinate Costume Party!" Roy proclaimed_

_"Wha…?" Everyone was dumbfounded._

"Yeah. So in this hat," Roy pulled a hat out of thin air, "I have written all your names on slips of paper. Each of you will take a name, and sew a costume for him or her. You will bring the costume back on October 31, wrapped up so no on will see. You will change in a private area, but if you resist/escape/perform alchemy, Riza Hawkeye will be standing outside the room and will not hesitate to attempt to shoot you. So are we all clear?"

"NO!" Ed was filled to the brim with rage. "I am NOT wearing a stupid costume! What are you gonna do next? Secret Santa? Easter egg hunt?"

"You know, that's a pretty good idea…" Roy pondered.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Ed yelled. He was about to attack Roy when Al held him back.

"First, let's draw the names. Ok, Ed?" Al tried to calm Ed down.

"…" Ed was still extremely mad, but accepted Al's suggestion.

"Ok, since that's over with, let's start. Ok, why don't you choose fist, Riza?" Roy held the hat towards Riza.

"Yes, sir!" Riza pulled out a slip of paper, folded in half. She opened the slip of paper, and read the name on it.

"So, what does it say, Riza?" Roy questioned.

"It says 'shrimp'." Riza sweatdropped. She waited for Ed's reaction.

"WHAT!?!?" Ed was outraged. He was not a shrimp!** (A/N: Proof on the Not A Shrimp) **He was squirming, trying to escape Al's grasp. But he dared not to say anything about Riza sewing his costume. Riza's gun was loaded from before and she could easily turned the safety off. "Have you lost your MIND?"

"No!" Roy protested. "I didn't loose my mind, I sold it on eBay!"

Everybody stared at Roy (again), with the expression 'Well, that explains a lot'.

"Can I draw next? Can I?" Fuery wanted to pick next, so Roy held out the hat. He took out a sheet of paper, and read the name aloud. "Breda."

"Well, that's jolly, isn't it?" Breda said sarcastically.

"Yeah, it is!" Fuery replied with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oooook… who wants to pick next?" Roy took another sip of his 'sugar injected' coffee, and felt another burst of energy. "How about YOU, Al?" He was definitely high on coffee.

"Sure…" AL pulled out a slip. He opened it up and read the name. "Riza Hawkeye… heart, heart?"

"Umm…." Roy forgot he had written that. Damn lack of coffee! He looked at Riza. She didn't reach for her gun. She just looked at all with some confusion, and ignored what Al had said. He sighed with relief, and held the cat towards Ed.

"Your turn!" He said in a bad tune. Ed was not amused, but took a piece of paper. He read the name, and his frown turned into a big, evil, devilish grin. Roy and the rest of the men who hadn't been picked started to sweat.

"W-w-what did y-you get?" Roy started to sound like Yoki. That girl must of put crack in her coffee!

Ed turned to him and grinned even more. "You." The air around them seemed to fall a couple degrees colder.

"… oh God…" Roy was in shock, when Falman suddenly drew a sheet of paper. "Havoc" he said aloud.

"Hah. Well, let me choose next?" Havoc gripped one of the remaining names. "Oooooh. I got you, Al."

"I guess I'll draw." Breda chose one of the two papers left. "Falman!"

"I guess I get Fuery." Roy felt the life draining out of him. HE drank another sip of his coffee, and felt instantly hyperactive. "YAY!"

_9 days later, filled with crackish adventures… (Roy: IT'S SNOWING CRACK!)_

Everyone participating in Roy's costume party arrived at Roy's office, some with small packages, and some with big ones. It was around lunchtime, and Roy was sipping hot coffee. Actually, everyone at Eastern Headquarters who got coffee from the cafeteria drunk quite a few cups a day, which was way more than usual. Roy hadn't slept for quite awhile (in the office), and many workers were hyper-er and peppier now.

So, everyone put the wrapped-up costumes in a pile, like Christmas presents. Once Havoc dropped Al's costume in the pile, they heard a big thump on the door, followed by an "OWW"

A girl with light brown, wavy hair that came down just a little past her shoulders opened the door and sighed. Her eyes were a combination of green and gray. She wore a white T-shirt with a yellow smiley face on it, and jeans for pants. On her face were glasses, similar to Hughes's, but golden. Behind her was another person, holding their ankle. It was the same girl Ed saw pouring white stuff into dodged Riza Hawkeye's bullet. She was a legend of the Eastern Military. The girl with glasses was a head taller than the one in the trench coat.

Roy, with utmost confidence in his singing ability, started singing the Numa Numa. He sounded like a drunken old man. The girl in a trench coat started to join in, until Ed kicked Roy. Roy sat down, drunk his coffee, and started singing again, only this time it was 'Best Friend'. Ed slapped him.

"What are you trying to do?" Ed yelled at Roy. "Attract yaoi fangirls?"

"Why, yes I am" Roy replied, but was almost killed by a bullet that whizzed by his nose. Riza Hawkeye shot the gun because everyone's ears were about to fall off. Everyone stood still, with exception for the shorter, trench coat girl, who started doing the robot. After Roy stopped singing, Al decided to join too. Soon everyone but Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric, and the taller, saner girl were doing the robot.

"Victoria! Remember why we came here in the first place!!" The girl who was not dancing directed at her partner (**A/N: IN CRIME!!!! DUN DUN DUN… ok, I'll shut up.)**

"TO do the robot, of course!" Victoria replied. Julia was about to strangle her when Victoria suddenly remembered. "Oh yeah! We were here to complete our mission 'Replace Sugar with Crack!" Victoria said loud and clearly. Julia slapped her head.

"Aww… great. That's the end of that." Julia was tied up in contained frustration. Victoria's sanity had been tested many times, and today, she failed.

"So, your having a costume party, right?" Victoria asked the room.

"AHHHHH! Intruder!" Roy pointed at the tow teenagers with intensifying fear in his eyes.

"Yeah, they came in awhile ago…" Breda stated and they all sweatdropped.

"HAVOC UPON YOU!!!!" Roy threatened them.

"Don't you mean 'destruction up-" Havoc started to say, but was picked up by Roy and flung towards the so called 'intruders'. It was flying towards Julia, the taller one, who moved out of the way.

"MATRIX!!!" Victoria yelled, and jumped towards Havoc, instead of away. Havoc hit his back against her, and then both fell on the floor with a thump. "Oww…" Victoria complained.

Havoc must be invincible or something, because all he complained about was 'I lost my cigarette!!!'

After all the commotion was over, Edward, being as smart as he was, though in his head, _how did she know about Roy's costume party?_ He turned to her. "How did you know about the party?"

Victoria was still on the ground, complaining, so Julia replied for her. "Well, she's the author. She has control over you all. You are her puppets!" She let out a maniacal, evil laughter. Everyone shuddered, but suddenly, the all wanted to get on with their costume party.

"I want to go first!" Fuery was quite enthusiastic, as usual. He grabbed the bag that said 'Fuery', and walked into the changing booth that had just appeared outside Roy's office. Riza followed him, making sure he didn't escape. Roy smiled.

.oOo.oOo.oOo.

**How did you like Part 2? Please remember to review (as I babbled on about above). I am typing when I can and hope to get the next (and hopefully, final) part up soon. Thanks, and Review!**

**xfma-addictx**


	3. Part 3

**Author's Notes: SORRY! FORGIVE ME! Ok, this is the third part, and I am now having 4, thanks to a change in writing and plans. and please, REVIW!!!!!**

_"I want to go first!" Fuery was quite enthusiastic, as usual. He grabbed the bag that said 'Fuery', and walked into the changing booth that had just appeared outside Roy's office. Riza followed him, making sure he didn't escape. Roy smiled._

The Ultimate Roy Subordinate Costume Party- Part 3

Fuery went out to the hallway. Victoria stood up, helped by Julia, and they waited. And waited. And waited. All they could here was Roy and Victoria humming another song. Finally, Fuery came through the office doors. There was an angelic light, with Roy's voice replacing those of the angels. It was horrible, but finally, you were able to see Fuery and his costume clearly.'

Fuery was always cute and cuddly, but today he was more so. He wore a white suit with random-shaped black dots. He also wore a headband with dog-ears that shared the same pattern. He barked. Roy had turned Fuery into a dog, a dalmatian to be more exact.

"Awwww!" Some of the people in the room just thought that Fuery was overflowing with cuteness. Fuery ran up and sat on the charred desk.

"Good boy!" Roy patted Fuery's head.

"Aww, crack." Victoria stared at her bare wrist. She caught herself from saying 'crap', but only said crack in its place. "Julia, we have to go."

"Already?" Julia kept on staring at the overwhelming cuteness of Fuery. And, for some reason, the tail on his costume was wagging. "I guess…" She headed towards the door.

"Ok, remember, I'll be writing you!" The way Victoria said it left a knot in their stomachs. Both Julia and her left hastily and nosily.

After a couple of minutes, they recovered from the presence of the two intruders. No one really wanted to go next, so Roy grabbed a random costume from the pile. The package was big, but quite light for it's size. He read the name on the back of it. 'Breda'.

"BREDA!!!" Roy yelled. He held up the package, and threw it towards Breda. He caught it. He felt the squishiness and sponginess of it, and it seemed to have the smell of yeast. He brushed it off. Maybe Fuery had made his costume in the kitchen.

Breda walked out of the room and into the changing room in the hallway. He opened the package and gasped. He had a sudden urge to eat his costume, but Riza Hawkeye was standing outside, so he resisted the temptation. Once Breda got himself in his costume, he hopped into the office.

God blessed Roy Mustangs subordinates, because he didn't sing this time. Breda hopped in... but where was he? All they saw was a piece of bread... no face, no feet, nothing. All they saw was a living piece of bread.

Everyone was stunned, and looked at Fuery. He was smiling, happy to see that Breda's costume fit. "It's edible!" Fuery proclaimed and smiled.

"Ummm…" Roy was getting hungry. He looked at his coffee, which had nothing in it, not even a drop. He thought of the definition of cannibalism. Could you eat bread and Breda? Would that be humane? Legal?

Riza looked at Roy, and read the expression on his face. She immediately read his face, and handed him a sandwich, one leftover from her lunch. He ate it with intense ferocity, biting his hand at times. Everyone was quite scared and observant of the sight. But it was time to go on.

"Umm…" Al picked up a big package, and handed it to Riza. It was cold and quite hard. "Here. This is yours. You don't have to change…"

"Riza Hawkeye nodded and opened the wrapped-up costume. As the paper fell to the floor, it revealed a great, oversized pistol. It was new and very shiny. A box came with it, marked 'ammunition'.

"I-I didn't know what costume you should've had, so I made you a new gun using alchemy." Everyone stared at Riza Hawkeye with a deep fear. They had vowed never to oppose Riza, but would that work now? Fuery was the most scared. After seeing how she treated Black Hayate, how would she treat him with a dog costume on? And with a REALLY big gun? He wanted to run. He shuddered.

Falman, really wanting to change the subject, grabbed his costume, and ran outside. He changed quickly, fearing his life as Riza stood outside the changing room door, loading her shiny new gun. Not even noticing what he had put on, he ran into the office in fear of his and his co-worker's lives.

Racing into the room, he revealed himself to everyone there. He was a purple book. Printed above and below his head were the two words 'pokable dictionary'. Everyone lunged towards him, with their index fingers out in front of them. Edward poked him first. They waited for a couple of seconds, and then, Falman stated with an air of intelligence…

" Ec-u-men-I-cal, also ec-u-men-ic, _adj_, 1. Of worldwide scope or applicability; universal 2. Of or relation to ecumenism – ec'u-men'I-cal-ly _adv._"

"Oh my GOD this is AWSOME!" Havoc yelled and poked Falman. He said…

"Ho-bo, _n, pl,_ A homeless person, esp. a vagrant." Suddenly Scar walked by in the hallway. oO?

Suddenly, he came back, and looked through the door. He pointed in the room and said, "Victoria better finish this fanfiction, because I'll blow her up if she doesn't" He left swiftly.

"Oooook…." The only sane ones left seemed to be Havoc, Ed, Al, and Riza. Everyone else was insane, or getting that way. Havoc would probably be next, because he had just run out of cigarettes…

**Afterward:**

**REVIW!!! FOR PETE'S SAKE! GEEZ! But I'm so sorry this took forever to put up. I hope to put up the last part soon!**

**Sorry!**

**_xfma addictx_**


	4. Part 4

**Author's not: THIS IS THE LAST PART! HOORAY!**

**Thanks for all the support, supporters out there. **

**Read and REVIW! REVIEW FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! (because we all know you love him)**

**OK, enjoy!**

_"Oooook…." The only sane ones left seemed to be Havoc, Ed, Al, and Riza. Everyone else was insane, or getting that way. Havoc would probably be next, because he had just run out of cigarettes…_

The Ultimate Subordinate Costume Party- Part 4

"Does anyone have a cigarette?" Havoc was getting desperate. He got on his knees, begging everyone around him. "Ed, can you transmute a cigarette?"

"Will it shut you up?" Ed asked.

"No." Havoc replied. Ed refused to transmute a cigarette for him, so Al suggested that he get on his costume.

"… I guess… BUT I BETTER GET A CIGARETTE AFTER THIS!" Havoc ranted.

"Oh, you will…" Falman poked himself. He said another random definition.

Havoc picked his costume up, and went to the changing room. Riza Hawkeye waited outside the booth, awaiting Havoc's appearance. He finally burst through the office doors.

Havoc was a living cigarette. It was just a cigarette with a hole for the feet and the head. The only things he could really do now was talk, think, hop, smoke, and breakdance. That was about it.

The first words out of his mouth was 'Mustang, can you give me a light?' And Roy did give him a light. A snap of the glove, and then his cigarette was lit, sending smoke to the ceiling to spread through the office.

"YES! YES YES YES!" Havoc was hopping around the place. He was so excited. His childhood dream had come true: To be a cigarette.

Since Havoc's little dance got a little boring after awhile, Al picked up his costume, and opened it. He knew that no one would care if he changed in front of everyone, being a suit of armor, so he pulled it out.

It was a orange kitty hat, with a cute, smiling face, shiny eyes, and ears that you couldn't resist. Everyone just stared at the cuteness, although it wasn't as cute as Fuery.

Al, overjoyed, tried it on.

_RIIIIIP_

Al had put the cap on, but it had ripped. His horn on his armor had pierced its way through the kitty's nose. Al seemed very distressed, running around and whining about his hat. Ed tried to calm him, because he wasn't looking where he was going and almost trampled over Havoc and Breda, who didn't have any chance of dodging him.

Roy saw this as a great performance. He loved his idea, and took another sip of coffee. It was great, the taste filling his whole body with warmth. He felt that nothing could take him down, not even Armstrong.

So, the only two left were Roy and Ed. Everyone stared at Roy, especially Ed. He picked up Roy's package and set it besides him. Roy put his coffee down.

"Don't worry, this wont hurt…" He motioned for Roy to stand up. He did. Ed clapped his hands together and pressed them against the package. The material rose, and surrounded Roy. In a flash of light, Roy had transformed. He was now in a Chiyo-Chan penguin costume. The puffy, sea blue costume was complete with cute eyes, a white stomach, and little flippers. Roy didn't know what he looked like.

While everyone was laughing their heads off, Roy attempted to grab his coffee. No luck. He tried again, and only succeeded in spilling it. Everyone laughed harder. Suddenly, Roy felt some crankiness coming on.

"YOU!" Roy yelled at Edward and pointed his flipper at him. "GET YOUR COSTUME ON!!!" The ground seemed to rumble, and suddenly there was a flash of lightning outside. Edward quickly grabbed his costume, out of fear that he would laugh at the angry penguin.

He put on his costume, and didn't complain about it. When he came out, everyone just saw him in his regular clothes. Had he really changed? That question was in everyone's eyes.

"I did change!" Ed said confidently.

"Lemme check" Riza pulled out her nice, new, shiny gun, and shot at Ed. It deflected off and fell on the ground.

"W-w-what was that for!" Edward stammered. He was getting quite scared.

"Well, I made your costume bullet proof." Riza replied hastly.

"WHA?" Ed exclaimed.

Riza aimed her gun. "Target practice."

Ed and Riza ended running around the room, while Roy was trying to bribe his subordinates to get him another cup of coffee with extra crack. Breda was trying to eat his way out of his costume, and Fuery's tail was still wagging, none the less.

It was total chaos. Untill…

"HELLO, EVERYONE!" Alex Louis Armstrong burst into the office. He, appropriately had a Halloween costume too. "I heard you were having a costume party!"

Ed and Riza stopped in their tracks. Roy stared upward. Falman and Fuery stopped breathing. Havoc felt a fear set in his heart. All that could be heard was the chewing of Breda trying to escape from his costume chewing his way through.

Armstrong was wearing a baby costume, complete with a pacifier and a hat. His diaper had a big pin on the front, just like a real baby. It was very scary sight, especially with Alex Louis Armstrong's size.

Havoc screamed like a girl. Ed fainted. Al was too caught up in the destruction of his wonderful kitty hat to care. Roy demanded coffee. Riza loaded her gun, and aimed. Breda didn't notice. Fuery's tail seemed to wag faster. Falman just kept his cool, by keeping his eyes shut.

Suddenly, another person stormed in. It was Maes Hughes, also in a costume. He was a living picture of his family, with his head where his head in the picture would be.

"What do you think of my costume, Roy?"

Roy's deepest fear had come true. He couldn't look at the picture, his eyes would burn if he did. Edward had recovered, but could already feel Hughes's presence. He looked up. The sight was horrible. Everyone else just shifted their attention to Hughes.

"NO, I HATE IT!" Roy exclaimed.

"But then everyone has to look at my family. Actually, Mustang, I like your costume!" He pulled out a camera with speed; something he practiced with his daughter. He took a picture, the flash blinding Roy even more.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Roy complained.

"So he can blackmail you, DUHHHHH!" Everyone said in unison. Hughes nodded.

"… oh crap." Roy sighed.

**OMG YES I'M DONE!**

**::runs around in circles::**

**OK, I really hoped you enjoyed it. I have another idea for a story, with the same amount of crack as this one, so I hope to start writing it soon.**

**::spoiler in anime and manga past this point::**

**AND I DON'T CARE IF HUGHES IS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! He's awsome. You can't deny it. Come on. Say it. "I can't deny it".**

**This was a lot of fun to make, despite Quandtuniverse's threats to torture me with a spork. I dedicate this to the ZOMGFTA ppls, because there just totally awsome. Thanks guys!**

**PLZ REVIW! I really nead them. Or I'll torture you with a spork.**

**Toodles!**

**- xfma-addictx**


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